How did my little one grow up so fast? I always enjoyed looking after babies and children; by the age of fourteen I was regularly babysitting some of my neighbour’s children (I can’t believe how responsible I was)!! I took on my first nanny role by seventeen; my mum always said I was always meant to work with children, a born mother and nurturer!
I have always worked in childcare, as a nanny, running a nursery school and now supporting mums with new babies, I absolutely love it, it’s a joy, not work! I always knew I wanted to be a mum and couldn’t wait to have my own children, raising my sons has been one of my greatest pleasures and achievements in my life!
So how did my little boy grow up so fast into a young man! From that tiny baby, to a curious toddler who went everywhere wearing his Postman Pat outfit, to this all grown up young man! It brings a tear to my eye when I think how fast his years have gone by!
Sometimes I walk by his bedroom and stop, poke my head around his door and just glance at this young man laying on his bed listening to his music, thinking he isn’t my little boy anymore, but a man. Sometimes I just want to stop time and pause, as I know the time is coming to say goodbye. I so want to stop, wait a second to catch up. I need a moment to say goodbye.
How did he grow up so fast and now he is moving on? Don’t get me wrong, I feel so proud that he is more than ready to fly the nest and enjoy independent living, he has saved enough money to buy his very own first flat, and he is so excited to become a homeowner, as I am, but I feel I am caught between two worlds, wanting to keep him safe & nurtured within the family home, and letting him go.
He was such an adorable baby – even if he did scream for the first few months! I am convinced he suffered with silent reflux, but he grew into a caring, considerate toddler who always stayed by my side, he listened and never asked for anything and chuckled at his younger brothers mischievous ways! He would never complain about visiting one of the granny’s and would always want to come with me when I went to visit my much loved girly cousins. I think he secretly loved listening to us giggling girls, sharing stories and fun times of when we were growing up.
When we walked along the street I would feel his little hand reach up for mine, happy to stay close and protected. I loved each and every stage of his childhood and motherhood, but he grew and I had to learn to grow with him, step back allow him to make mistakes and just gently be there if he needed picking up or guiding.
I had one rule, we had to all sit down once a week for dinner to catch up and chat, laugh and share our week, well to be honest that happens more than once a week, we still all sit around the table each of us having our usual seat sharing a meal, chatter, banter and the clearing up! Yes he can load a dishwasher and put a wash on!
As I write this blog I get choked up as I see how wonderful it has really been, I see what an amazing adult he has become.
I feel lucky that he still asks for my advice and hang’s out, he’s my buddy, I sent him a message on his phone the other day just to say ‘I love you and am proud of you’, he answered ‘love you to’ his younger brother got the same message and sent one back, ‘ Mum have you been drinking’!!
Don’t get me wrong he has his faults, he can be messy and eat everything he can from the fridge, but I know, when he’s gone, I will miss that.
I know when the time comes to help him move into his own place I will be positive, supportive and happy for him, but will come home and sob my heart out, as I will think my little boy grew up too fast!!!